I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
