Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
