her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
