Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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