Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
