i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
