If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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