I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
