OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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