After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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