i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Randomize
