Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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