I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
