If that was your dad, he is hot
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize