Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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