I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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