she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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