someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
