She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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