I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Is it penis luge time yet?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
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