Plan B is the new Plan A
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
