I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
