I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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