VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
