How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
