Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
