i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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