Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
