I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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