your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
