maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
