Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
