WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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