Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
