I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
