sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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