Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
