May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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