ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
my being single is dangerous.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
