Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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