Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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