Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
