As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
