Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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