I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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