his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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