i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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