So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
