dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
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