i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I could make wine with my vomit
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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