Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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