THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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