I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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