Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
