she sounds like chewbacca in bed
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
