You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
