Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
what day is it and did you see me today?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
