I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
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