Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize