i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize