I think I died a long time ago.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
