Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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